I never thought having a broken family would be this hard.
As people we are all so very different, from various families with differing values, ways of life, attitudes.
It’s a struggle, I won’t lie. There is always one person in the middle, listening to the other three plus family arguments.
Every side believes they are right, or one disapproves of another, some believe they may be more important, some focus on wealth, some on family values. It’s a ticking time bomb if you allow it to be.
What everything comes down too is how each situation is managed.
You don’t need to agree to others opinions, just as others do not have to agree with yours, agree to disagree, take on their side of the argument, tell them you will mull it over.
Just because someone paid for something and you weren’t asked, it doesn’t mean you contribution to the event is any less. Different people bring different things to the table.
You have different family values, some brought the kids up to be seen and not heard, some to be free and wild etc, we all grow up, and create our own opportunities. I know many a poor and unhappy in his work graduate and many a happy achiever with no degree and vice versa. Education is important in different ways to different people and definitely does not represent a persons worth.
What I want to say here is we are all so incredibly different and complex. There’s no one size fits all approach, but your reactions are key to harmony.
If you know Fred the brother in law drinks and you clash when your both drunk, don’t drink with him. If you have to socialise for the sake of family harmony, make your own effort to be a better person and don’t drink to excess, slip in some water every now and then.
If your invited to a party and you know Thelma and Louise will be there with no censor on what comes out their mouths. What can you do? Well you already know what they are like, so does everyone else I promise, stay away, be polite, keep calm, walk away if need be and breathe.
You are master of your own destiny here, you choose whether this is peace or war by your every interaction.
Yes, this can be exhausting, but for a few hours, worth it. You know why it’s worth it? Because at the same time, you get to watch all the social interactions! Spend time with those you really care about, they will have extended family they care about and your expected to share a room with. This however doesn’t mean you must interact negatively.
My go too thought on these occasions is too keep in mind the people I am there for. Why I went. How often or rare these occasions are. How I would much prefer a couple of hours being extremely polite than miss a moment of the event I’m attending.