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Love Yourself

This journey is still a struggle. From knowing I’ll never be able to eat a full size meal to surgery problems and hair loss, there are pitfalls I wish I’d known prior to going through with it. The worst is actually the body dysmorphia. I still buy clothes too big and feel big myself andContinue reading “Love Yourself”

Depressed day

I’ve been trying to look after myself a little better. I’ve had my hair and nails done, today I’m having eye lash extensions. And yet all of this is a front as I feel empty. I don’t know why, I have lots I should be thankful for. I have zero energy, I don’t care reallyContinue reading “Depressed day”

Teens need hugs too

Especially mine but on their terms of course. I don’t know what triggers anxiety and panic attacks with me or my teen, sometimes it just happens. Last night around 10.30pm I had a tearful, shaking 16year old rush in, jump in my bed and hug me. I held her close and told her I wasContinue reading “Teens need hugs too”

Silence is Golden

Not all the times of course, simple pleasure comes from sound. Silence of the mind however is worth more than any gold. Being able to turn off the internal monologue and chatter, such a beautiful thing to do. To be completely at peace. I’m working on this but it eludes me. Eventually I actually endContinue reading “Silence is Golden”

Such sorrow in Family Values

There was a young man who unfortunately married the wrong woman. He suffered years of abuse and when he found the strength to leave his parents picked up his shattered heart and life and gave him all they had to rebuild his life. They housed him and his children, sharing rooms so they could allContinue reading “Such sorrow in Family Values”

Eeek, honest RNY post.

Off to see my new Bariatric surgeon who has been assisting me in the UK, Leeds, with the post operative issues I’ve been having. To say I’m nervous is an understatement. I’m unsure whether I will need another dilation to the stricture I had at my stomach exit, or maybe my current issues could beContinue reading “Eeek, honest RNY post.”

Short Story: Earth

It was as though the Earth had set motions into reverse. Women became a commodity for ownership, animals became meat, children became currency. The world was dying. The Men wanted to believe they could fix things. Alas they could not and as children starved and women fought again the chains of suppression to regain theirContinue reading “Short Story: Earth”

Moody teens

I took my teen out today, look round some Christmas decorations, garden centre, hot chocolate and sausage roll. Bought a few special items. I had a lovely time ignoring the sulking from the teen. The whole time. The hating the crowds. The sausage roll is disgusting. The hot chocolate was rank. The shops were boring.Continue reading “Moody teens”

Nordic Light Candle Holder

What reminds you of your Mum? For me it’s this Nordic light candle holder, not because she is Swedish or Nordic although she certainly could be with her green eyes, blonde hair and height; no, because she bought this for me and she loves dragonflys. So every time it’s on, and I see the soContinue reading “Nordic Light Candle Holder”