When you suffer a traumatic experience at the hands of someone else, it’s natural to want to know why.
Usually people will think it over, talk to friends or maybe even a counsellor and be satisfied that people are so complex, so different in thought patterns and feelings that a simple answer will suffice.
Sometimes however, especially if you have time to spare, we turn to self help videos and seminars. Now your thinking there’s no harm in this? But these videos drip feed information in a yes pattern, this yes pattern tricks your mind into agreement and leaves you wanting to know more as promised in the next video, and the next and the next and so on.
These are usually subscription services preying on vulnerable people.
What they are actually doing is far more harm than good. By reliving the thought process over and over again you are reinforcing it in your mind, ok that event may have occurred because you now know the perpetrator was a sociopath or narcissistic. But do you really need to know all the ins and outs of that personality trait?
In fact your programming your mind to constantly look for these traits in others in order to protect yourself in the future. Therefore labelling people who may say or do the wrong thing once on the off chance and not allowing yourself that opportunity to move on.
If your constantly trying to evaluate the past, how are you moving forward with your life? I’m not asking you to forget, I’m asking that if you subscribe to self help videos which try to evaluate patterns of behaviour in relationships between people in a negative way; you will never truly be able to move on from that moment.
Fill your mind with all the great possibilities of things to come, plan your future happiness, research if you need to but don’t fall into the yes pattern.
I use the yes pattern in hypnosis sessions and it’s great for treating people and changing thought patterns to positive patterns. To dwell on a negative thought is to damage your mind. Unless your a psychiatrist etc why do you need to know the personal traits of a psychopath? In depth? Over and over again? Reliving and trying to understand why you? That will never ever give you closure.
The trick to closure is putting that bad memory or experience away, because what matters now is you and your future experiences. So don’t force yourself to try and understand something you really never will. Plan your future free from that trauma, help each other heal in healthy ways and stay positive about your future. The world needs you and your experiences to learn how to heal and become better.