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I Was Visited.

A few days ago, I was in terrible pain. I was scared and I was being rushed back into surgery. But I remember so vivid the colour and detail in features the dream I had after surgery. A golden person so bright they shone brighter than anything we can see, visited me. They did notContinue reading “I Was Visited.”

Bariatric Downs…

I havent posted for a while. Six days and it feels like months ago, time goes very slow when you don’t feel your best. Sorry for the last photo! But anyway, after I was discharged I went on an outpatient waiting list. 6-8 weeks. Despite me saying how sick I was on the tube feed.Continue reading “Bariatric Downs…”

Feeling a little let down

I’ve had a great 15 day stay at the hotel NHS Hospital where I have seen first hand the hard work and effort the nurses put in to caring above and beyond their duties for those admitted. However, I’ve also experienced the miscommunication between consultants, difference of opinions resulting in differing advice and therefore ultimatelyContinue reading “Feeling a little let down”

Disappearing catch

They rush around in blue and white People crying Pain and sorrow Healing and heartache Waiting waiting waiting The patients are an endless sea Nurses the disappearing catch Soon the sea will be empty of catch and patients cut adrift to drown amongst themselves Growing ever vaster.

Let it go

I realised I’ve been holding onto so much. Thoughts, opinions, things that are none of my concern because other peoples actions aren’t my issue and their thoughts their own not mine. I’m letting it all go, I don’t care because it’s none of my business too. I am only responsible for what I think andContinue reading “Let it go”

Love Yourself

This journey is still a struggle. From knowing I’ll never be able to eat a full size meal to surgery problems and hair loss, there are pitfalls I wish I’d known prior to going through with it. The worst is actually the body dysmorphia. I still buy clothes too big and feel big myself andContinue reading “Love Yourself”

Teens need hugs too

Especially mine but on their terms of course. I don’t know what triggers anxiety and panic attacks with me or my teen, sometimes it just happens. Last night around 10.30pm I had a tearful, shaking 16year old rush in, jump in my bed and hug me. I held her close and told her I wasContinue reading “Teens need hugs too”

Silence is Golden

Not all the times of course, simple pleasure comes from sound. Silence of the mind however is worth more than any gold. Being able to turn off the internal monologue and chatter, such a beautiful thing to do. To be completely at peace. I’m working on this but it eludes me. Eventually I actually endContinue reading “Silence is Golden”